‘Fear of Being Loved’



Togetherness flourishes when it is fed with freedom and if this is true the word F.R.I.E.N.D can be de-abbreviated to Freedom and Independence Enhancing Drug .

Two individuals gel up or get along well, most of the time, for the sake of their respective interests and those interests may be implicate or explicate . And to those humans who are novice to the World Family (Vasudev Kutumb) that interest is found to be termed very commonly as ‘LOVE’.

Hmmmm LOVE !

I am telling you its definition will never show up to the surface .

Ok!! So let us go the Aristotelian way then.

Emm that means , we should first try defining the word and then classify it. (No ,No ,I ain’t lecturing)

LOVE :- #$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$^&**&^%$@@@@


Let me try again .



Classification :-

1) Mother love

2) Father love

3) Brother love

4) Sister love

5) Nuptial love

6) Niece love

7) Friend love

8) Human-Human love

9) Etc-Etc love

We try to dwell in these forms of love for the sake of happiness , support and some things that will never let us fall.

Remember human being’s sense of happiness ,support lies in his own freedom. I didn’t say that, human beings did.

Now humans place boundations at the very start of these love based contraptions , ahem! relationships. No ,NO not all of us but many of us . May be they are not boundations but general requirements , but these are fast becoming the central theme of our relationships.

Let me make you count some :-

  1. Transformation from the idea of knowing someone to the idea of controlling someone.
  2. Transformation from the idea of being happy to being satiated.
  3. Transformation from the idea of feelings (emotions) to the idea of standard love i.e. to define the characteristics of the one who will become the fortunate receiver of someone’s ‘THE’ love.

Human beings love being leaders and since some of us or most of us are not armed well to control our fates , we find it really enticing to pull the reins of somebody else’s life . And many a times the one trying to pull it doesn’t even know that he is pulling it to stifle out the horse.

And then we really try to standardize the one who will be worthy of our love .

I tell you we are leading such demanding lives that ruling out the presentation of the one we are roaming around with is ‘NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE’ . Right ! Popular culture .By God!! Remember only presentation ha …. The creature who has got the privilege to stand beside you has no right whatsoever upon his/her own identity . OK OK enough is enough . Please don’t ask me to kowtow now.

So for instance,

Implicate in parents’ wish is the fact that they want their children to become epitome of perfection

Implicate in a friend’s wish is the fact that he/she wants their friend to be exactly like them .

Implicate in a boyfriend’s wish is the fact that he wants a first hand ,beauteous , smart, intelligent, all rounder, hymen intact girlfriend.

Implicate in a girlfriend’s wish is the fact that she wants a smart , intelligent, humorous, all rounder boyfriend . Don’t forget richness and ah! How can I miss Lamborghini . Sorry ha ,sorry !

Implicate in many of us’s wishes is the fact that we want everything and everyone to move according to what will comfort us .

And in order to accomplish that we many a times become totally ignorant of the fact that polishing and greasing only one wheel of the cart, that is us, only ourselves, will become useless the moment other wheels start wearing out.

Now, there are times when people do feel like breaking away from some or the other relationship . And when the urge to satiate one’s self goes out of control that feeling asks him/her to become a loner .

Try to behold the trap here.

Is it all about hormones or is it all about star dust that constitutes us ? Probably it is about Implicate Order Theory by David Bohm .

(Again lecturing . Oho! that’s my implicate wish )

Probably David Bohm wants to convey that it seems that we are explicate- like our fingers think that they are different from each other, that firing of one of them has nothing to do with the other- but actually we constitute a larger purpose , we constitute ‘The One’ ; firing of one of the fingers will affect its neighbours equally and hence ultimately ’The Hand’.

So all these love forms have an immense potential to ALWAYS BLOSSOM and an immense potential to make one or the other party extremely FEARFUL of the other.

Wishes ,Deceptions or Nature .

Choice(wish) is ours.


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